Transforming Your Worldview for Better Results

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Today, we look at worldview through the lens of results—our expectations for ourselves and others.

Are the expected results ever good enough, fast enough, or high enough? Perhaps these expectations leave an undercurrent of disappointment and constant stress, allowing little room for gratitude. These expectations of results reveal your worldview more clearly than your stated values ever could.

In our previous discussions, we explored how worldview forms the foundation of leadership. Remember our key axiom: worldview, values, beliefs, and style are "more caught than taught." Leaders don't primarily influence through what they explicitly teach but through what others observe in their actions and decisions. Your team catches your worldview through your everyday behaviors—how you respond to challenges, what you prioritize, and where you direct your attention.

The trust statements we make often reveal our deepest worldviews.

Just as the models in our lives and leaders we've admired weren't always perfect, the truisms and assumptions we carry may not always serve us well. Statements like "People need to be closely managed" or "If you want something done right, do it yourself" might feel like proven wisdom, but they invite a pause to reflect on whether these assumptions still support our current leadership goals.

While not an overnight process, the potential for profound changes in leadership effectiveness through worldview transformation is immense. Consider the case of a construction executive I once worked with. For twenty years, he operated under the belief that 'People need constant direction'—a view shaped by his military background and early career experiences. A transformative realization during our program opened up a world of possibilities for him.

His exhausting leadership style involved checking every detail and solving problems his team should have handled themselves. When asked to examine his worldview, he recognized this approach had created dependent team members who waited for instructions rather than thinking independently. The cost was burnout for him and underdevelopment for his team.

His transformation began with a simple shift: "People can rise to challenges when given clear expectations and appropriate support." This wasn't abandoning standards but changing his approach to achieving them. Over six months, he gradually shifted his management style by delegating outcomes rather than processes, implementing regular check-ins instead of constant oversight, asking, "What do you think we should do?" before offering solutions, and explicitly celebrating initiative and problem-solving.

The results were remarkable. His team's capabilities expanded, his stress decreased, and several team members emerged as potential future leaders. Most importantly, he found a sustainable leadership approach that allowed him to focus on strategic priorities.

Worldview transformation follows a reflective pattern that can happen in a moment or maturated over time: awareness of your current beliefs and their impact, examination of these beliefs against evidence, experimentation with new approaches, and integration of new perspectives that yield better results.

Growth requires the courage to question deeply held assumptions, especially those that have brought some measure of success in the past. The most effective leaders continually refine their worldviews as they gain experience and insight. This process of questioning and refining can be empowering, putting you in control of your leadership journey.

Reflection Questions:

1. What results in your leadership have been disappointing or frustrating?

2. What worldview belief might be contributing to these outcomes?

3. What small experiment could you try to test a different approach?

Remember, worldview shifts don't require abandoning your core values. Instead, they examine the assumptions shaping how you express those values in your leadership. The goal isn't to adopt someone else's worldview but to ensure your own genuinely serves your effectiveness as a leader—and your fulfillment as a person.

As you go into your next meeting today, consider that achieving the desired results might be better served by reflecting on your worldview before focusing on behavioral tactics. There's nothing wrong with aspiring toward best practices, but what drives you may not motivate your people.

Worldview - The Language of Leadership: Part 2 of 3

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Part 2: How Trust Statements Reveal Your Worldview

During a recent worldview conversation with industry leaders, the discussion quickly revealed their underlying assumptions. One financial director firmly stated, "Russell, you can't trust people. If you do, they'll take advantage of you." Another leader challenged this perspective, sharing, "I struggle with trusting my people. However, I've adopted an approach of 'trust, then verify.'" A third participant smiled and added, "It's best to inspect what you expect." These statements, shared within minutes of each other, demonstrate how our deepest beliefs about people emerge in casual conversation—and how dramatically they shape our leadership approach.

While Part 1 explored the origins of our worldview—the family, friends, mentors, and workplace experiences that informed the developmental stages that shaped us—Part 2 examines how these beliefs manifest in our daily language and leadership approach through what I call "trust statements."

The phrases we routinely use reveal our deepest assumptions about people and the world. Like an invisible operating system, these statements guide our decisions without conscious awareness. I've witnessed how dramatically they affect team performance, underscoring the urgency for leaders to address their beliefs.

Consider two project managers with similar technical skills. One consistently says, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." His first boss fired people for mistakes, embedding a belief that safety requires control. His team performs reliably but rarely innovates or takes initiative—they await instructions and avoid risks. Another manager operates from "people rise to expectations" and "everyone brings valuable perspectives." Her team consistently outperforms on problem-solving and adaptation. The difference isn't skill—the worldview shapes how team members are treated and respond.

Trust Statements versus Truth Statements

It's crucial to distinguish between trust and truth statements in our leadership language. Both types of statements inform our worldview through values, beliefs, and behaviors. Truth statements express absolutes or core convictions—the hills we're willing to die on. Trust statements, by contrast, are often truisms or axioms providing general wisdom or perspective. When someone says, "Trust is relative," they're offering a trust statement, not necessarily a truth. These language choices significantly shape our leadership philosophy.

Discernment is crucial in responding to relationships, whether we deal with trust or truth statements. We must honor one another by respecting similarities and differences. Our worldview reflects assumptions we've made about how the world should work. The challenge for all of us is to consider how these assumptions continue to serve us and those around us, emphasizing the importance of respect and understanding in our interactions.

In Part 1, we identified seasons of growth and development. Worldview often shifts during these transitions. As one mentor once shared with me, "The things worth fighting for become fewer as I get older, yet there are a few things I will die for." Our truths typically become fewer and deeper as we mature. Ultimately, your truth statements inform your trust statements, creating a coherent leadership philosophy.

Our trust statements typically reflect four orientations:

• Protection-Oriented: "Better safe than sorry," "Keep your guard up"

• Skepticism-Based: "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is"

• Experience-Based: "I've been burned before," "People don't change"

• Control-Oriented: "If you want something done right, do it yourself"

The most revealing exercise is completing "People are..." Your instinctive responses expose your fundamental assumptions about human nature. Leaders who believe "people are lazy unless motivated" create management systems with heavy oversight—often producing the very behavior they fear. Those who think "people want to contribute meaningfully" develop stronger teams through delegation and development.

These statements connect directly to the worldview foundations we explored in Part 1. The voices that shaped your early understanding now speak through your leadership language. The good news? Awareness creates choice. By recognizing your trust statements, you can evaluate whether they still serve your leadership goals.

Reflection Questions:

1. When the last time you faced a conflict with someone, what may have been some trust or truth statement that may not have aligned with your worldview?

2. What are your top three "People are..." statements?

3. What trust statements reflect one of the four primary orientations?

4. What are you most common trust statements that you share at home or work?

Action Steps:

1. Ask for feedback about how others perceive your trust level based on your trust statements.

2. Identify one assumption that you've held true that may need to be challenged.

Worldview: The Lens of Your Life & Leadership - A Three-Part Series

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Part 1: The Foundation of Worldview

Since 2018, I've been on the facilitation team for a 4 day construction leadership institute. I serve in this program 10-12 times a year with the opportunity to directly spend time 1-1 in coaching with 50+ leaders. The 30-year-old Leadership Institute program begins with a baseline teaching on worldview. Every leader wants better results, but working harder using the same tactical practice may not yield your desired outcomes. As my mentor Paul Stanley once shared, we need to rethink our thinking on leadership. Marshall Goldsmith posed a similar approach in his book What Got You Here Won't Get You There. It’s a caution when there's no time to think beyond tactics in the ready-fire-aim approach to strategies, decisions, and people management.

Worldview provides a lens through which we see the world around us, informing our values, beliefs, and biases. If you want to see different results from your work, it may be time to pause and consider your worldview.

During our leadership training, we have a worldview conversation within a small group setting where I'll ask, "Who has influenced your worldview, and how does that impact how you lead today?" It's fascinating to hear the stories of positive and negative examples from family members, athletic coaches, and first bosses. We all have people who have influenced our lives—good or bad—and their voices tend to reflect our worldviews. These people model a way of thinking that often translates into our expectations of people we live or work with day-to-day.

Challenging Assumptions: A Key to Leadership Growth

Most role models are never perfect, so we focus on the good of those who have a voice in our lives. However, even positive influences can create limitations we don't recognize.

Psychology offers additional frameworks to understand how our worldview evolves. Lawrence Kohlberg's moral development theory provides a valuable lens through which we can examine the maturation of our ethical reasoning—a core component of worldview. Kohlberg identified six stages across three levels:

1. Pre-conventional (focused on punishment avoidance and self-interest)

2. Conventional (centered on social conformity and authority)

3. Post-conventional (based on universal principles and ethical reasoning).

Leaders often progress through these stages as they mature, moving from rule-following to principled decision-making. Understanding where you fall on this moral compass can illuminate why specific leadership challenges emerge—perhaps you're operating from a conventional worldview in an environment that requires post-conventional thinking. This developmental perspective helps explain why our worldview naturally shifts over time through experience and maturity, suggesting that periodic reassessment is helpful and necessary for continued growth.

My mentor Paul Stanley introduced another powerful framework for understanding life stages that profoundly influences how our worldview evolves:

• Learning (who am I?)

• Building (what is my place?)

• Focusing (why am I here?)

• Investing (how do I finish well and leave a legacy?).

Each stage brings different priorities, challenges, and perspectives. For example, I transitioned to wearing glasses a few years ago. How we see the world changes with life stages and seasons. Knowing your season and those whose voice(s) shape your thinking and actions provides crucial insights into your present worldview. A leader in the Building stage will naturally have different concerns and perspectives than one in the Investing stage—neither is wrong, but awareness of these differences enhances self-understanding and interpersonal effectiveness.

Our inherited beliefs shape how we view our teams and challenges. In Part 2, we'll explore "trust statements" that reveal our underlying assumptions and how they manifest in our daily leadership decisions. Until then, reflect on how your worldview origins influence your leadership effectiveness.

Reflection Questions:

1. Who are the 3-5 people who have most shaped your worldview?

2. What specific beliefs about work, success, or people did you inherit from them?

3. Which of these inherited beliefs have you never questioned?

4. How might your current challenges connect to your worldview?

Action Steps:

1. Write down the names of people who significantly influenced your thinking.

2. For each person, note one specific belief you adopted from them.

3. Identify one belief that might benefit from reexamination.

Redefining Success - 5 Considerations to Level-Set Your Success Criteria

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Why Achievement Without Alignment Leaves Leaders Empty at the Top

My joy and heartache as a mentor, coach, and friend come from listening to stories of peaks and valleys in life and work. I've sat with leaders who strived to succeed in their businesses, going all in with their time and resources, only to be left in failure—validating the statistical reality that 90% of start-ups fail. The primary contributors to the failure of any venture are stark and often unforgiving: lack of financing or investors, running out of cash, lack of market demand or poor timing, and people problems. Success more often lies in factors beyond our control.

Yet, I also have the privilege of partnering with a few courageous souls who venture and succeed toward their dreams. Whether in corporate environments or entrepreneurial start-ups, we tend to climb the ladder of success only to often arrive at the top with the sobering reality that we were climbing the wrong ladder all along. Such sobriety at pivotal moments in our lives and work gives us pause to redefine our success criteria, a courageous act that inspires and empowers us all.

After 15 years of running a business, I have experienced firsthand the highs and lows of success and failure while trying to make sense of defining my success between wins and losses, victory and setbacks, and success and failure. Over the last decade, after thousands of hours spent in one-on-one coaching partnerships with leaders across industries, a central question has emerged at the core of nearly every leadership challenge: What is success? This deceptively simple question often proves the most difficult for leaders to answer authentically.

5 Criteria for Navigating what is success:

Seasonality of Success: Success in our twenties looks fundamentally different from success in our forties or fifties. Recognizing your current season and adjusting your definition of success accordingly acknowledges that our values, core beliefs, and priorities naturally shift throughout our professional journey.

From Success to Significance: As Bob Buford powerfully explored in his influential book "Halftime," true leadership growth often requires moving beyond conventional achievement metrics toward what creates lasting meaning and value. This transition invites leaders to identify what is genuinely significant in their current season and understand why it matters to them personally.

Sustainability vs. Sprinting: Many leaders operate in perpetual sprint mode, moving from deadline to deadline, only to find themselves exhausted and questioning their path. Developing sustainable models across all dimensions—financial, emotional, mental, and relational—transforms survival mode into thriving leadership.

Support Systems: The myth of the self-made leader crumbles under scrutiny. We're all standing on someone's shoulders or have been sponsored or supported by others throughout our life and work. Building and nurturing support networks provides assistance and accountability throughout your leadership journey.

Sage Wisdom: Drawing from the experiences of those who have navigated similar challenges can provide invaluable shortcuts to sustainable leadership. While no mentor leader is perfect, learning from others' patterns of success offers practical guidance for your journey, making you feel guided and supported.

Practical Next Steps for Redefining Success

1. Conduct a Season Assessment: Take an honest inventory of your current life stage. How have your priorities shifted from five years ago? What values now take precedence that didn't before?

2. Define Your Significance: Write down three legacies you hope to leave through your work and leadership. How do these align with your current focus and time allocation?

3. Audit Your Sustainability: Identify areas where you're running a sprint when you need marathon endurance. Create boundaries that protect your physical, emotional, and relational well-being.

4. Select Your Sages and Support: Identify 2-3 mentor leaders and friends whose trajectory you admire and respect. Contact at least one to discuss their definition of success.

5. Schedule Reflection Time: Block time; start with 30 minutes weekly to assess your progress, adjust your approach, and reconnect with what truly matters this season.

Chasing success can feel like chasing the wind; it's always changing and elusive. If we're honest, we may be chasing someone else's definition of success. Whatever ladder you may be climbing, take pause. Reflect on these steps to offer a renewed perspective of your success criteria and strategies to attain it, then count the cost. Then, take a few steps of faith that align with your deepest values and most significant priorities.

Building Teams Across Cultural Divides: Leadership Lessons from Down-Under - Part 3of3

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From Understanding to Action - Making Cultural Intelligence Work 

Leading a half-day virtual training on delivering feedback and better conversations, I looked around the room to notice the cultural diversity. We'd finished a warm-up conversation on intentional listening, sharing our interests and passions outside of work. Stories from learning about the stock market, the significance of happy hour, gardening, travel plans, and playing jokes on family members were shared. The levity was contagious. What a delightful conversation.  

Did I mention all five individuals were PhD project leaders in oncology and immunology biochemists in a pharmaceutical organization? Note to self: Even the most serious people still have a sense of humor. Given my meeting participants, the old proverb comes to mind: 'A joyful heart is a good medicine.' Proverbs 17:22 

Towards the end of our call, I took notice of the cultural backgrounds of the five: Japan, Korea, India, Belgium, and a Brit from London.

This moment reminded me of my ongoing coaching work with Phillip from Australia. As our sessions continued, our conversations shifted from understanding cultural differences to actively leveraging them for team success. The real breakthrough came when he stopped seeing his team's diversity as a challenge to manage and started viewing it as an asset to develop. 

Remember the drinking culture issue? Phillip transformed this potential divide into an opportunity for innovation. Instead of maintaining the status quo or simply eliminating after-hours events, he worked with his team to reimagine how they build connections. They created multiple pathways for team building - some during work hours, others after hours, some focused on wellness, others on professional development. Each option respected different preferences while serving the same goal: strengthening team bonds. 

Consider: What traditional practices in your organization could be reimagined to better serve all team members? 

The impact was remarkable. Team members who had previously felt excluded became more engaged. Those who had dominated social interactions learned to create space for others. Most importantly, the team started seeing their differences as a source of strength rather than tension. They began to understand that diverse perspectives lead to better solutions - a truth backed by research showing companies with diverse management teams report 19% higher innovation revenue. 

Reflect: How could your team's cultural differences become a catalyst for innovation? 

Phillip's journey taught him something profound about leadership: creating an inclusive team culture isn't about grand gestures - it's about consistent, intentional actions that demonstrate respect for differences. He learned to start meetings by acknowledging different perspectives, to actively seek input from quieter team members, and to celebrate successes that emerged from diverse viewpoints. 

Ask yourself: What small, daily actions could you take to make your team's cultural differences work for rather than against you? 

The transformation wasn't just about feeling good - it drove real business results. Team collaboration improved, innovation increased, and employee engagement rose. But perhaps most importantly, team members began to see their cultural differences not as barriers to overcome but as bridges to greater understanding and effectiveness. 

Your Challenge This Week 

I call this the "Cultural Bridge Challenge." For the next five days, commit to creating psychological safety that invites diverse perspectives. Remember, diversity isn't just about global backgrounds – it's about the colleague who grew up on the far side of town, the team member with a different personality type, or the person whose experience differs from the majority. 

These differences may initially seem to threaten harmony or synergy, but they're actually your greatest defense against the fish-bowl effect of groupthink. When we surround ourselves with similar perspectives, we miss the breakthrough ideas that emerge from cognitive diversity. As my Belgian biochemist exclaimed to her Indian colleague during our training, "Now, that's the million-dollar idea!" 

Start your next meeting by inviting the voices less often heard. Create space for different thinking styles. Listen not just for what aligns with your perspective, but especially for what challenges it. The most valuable insights often come from the most unexpected sources. 

What bridge will you build this week that transforms differences into your team's most valuable asset? How will you create the psychological safety that turns diversity into innovation? 

Remember, the competitive edge doesn't belong to the leader with all the answers – it belongs to the one who can orchestrate the diverse voices that together find solutions no one could discover alone. Every interaction is an opportunity to tap into your team's full spectrum of brilliance. Make each conversation count. 

Building Teams Across Cultural Divides: Leadership Lessons from Down-Under

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Part 2: The Power of Vulnerability - Creating Trust Across Cultures

In my continued conversation with Phillip, he shared a moment that transformed his understanding of leadership. During a particularly challenging team meeting, he took a risk and opened up about his own struggles with balancing traditional Australian business culture and his personal values. The response surprised him. His vulnerability created space for others to share their perspectives, leading to one of their most productive discussions ever.

"The best meetings are generally when people are vulnerable," Phillip reflected. "When everyone feels safe enough to say what they're really thinking." His observation aligns perfectly with Harvard professor Amy Edmondson's research showing that psychological safety drives team performance. But creating this safety across cultural divides? That's where the real art of leadership comes in.

Consider: When was the last time you created space for your team to share their authentic thoughts and concerns?

Phillip's team spans four generations, from Baby Boomers to Gen Z, each with their own views on professional vulnerability. The older members initially saw vulnerability as weakness, while younger team members viewed it as a strength. Instead of forcing consensus, Phillip learned to appreciate these differences. He found ways to make everyone comfortable contributing in their own style.

Reflect: How do generational differences in your team influence how people express and receive vulnerability?

One particularly powerful moment came when Phillip's finance team member, typically quiet in meetings, shared his perspective on feeling excluded from team social events due to cultural differences. This openness led to a broader discussion about inclusive team building, resulting in new approaches that respected everyone's preferences and boundaries.

Ask yourself: What conversations might your team be avoiding due to cultural or generational discomfort?

The transformation in Phillip's team didn't happen overnight. It began with small moments of courage - a shared concern here, an acknowledged mistake there. Each vulnerable moment built trust, creating a foundation for deeper collaboration. As Brené Brown reminds us, vulnerability isn't about winning or losing; it's about having the courage to show up authentically.

Your Challenge This Week

In your next team interaction, create what I call a "vulnerability bridge." Start by sharing a recent leadership challenge you're facing or a lesson you've learned. Make it real but appropriate - vulnerability isn't about oversharing, it's about creating connection. Then, watch how this opens space for others to share their own experiences.

Pay attention to how different team members respond. Some might jump in immediately, others might need time to process. Notice these patterns - they often reflect deeper cultural and generational perspectives about professional relationships.

What safe space will you create this week for authentic connection across your team's cultural divides?

Building Bridges Across Cultural Divides: Leadership Lessons from Down-Under

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Part 1: When Differences Become Strengths - A Leader's Guide to Cultural Intelligence 

Twenty years ago, while pursuing my master's degree, I sat in a Leading through Cross-Cultural Conflict class that would forever change my approach to leadership. The professor's message was simple yet profound: slow down to understand cultural context before diving into issues. Today, as I coach global leaders across continents, this lesson resonates more deeply than ever. 

Let me share a recent conversation with Phillip, a regional manager in Australia, that beautifully illustrates this principle. Phillip leads a diverse team spanning generations and backgrounds, each bringing their own cultural norms to the table. His challenge? Bridging the gap between traditional Australian business culture - where after-work drinks serve as the primary team-building activity - and younger team members who prioritize wellness and work-life balance. 

As Phillip shared his story, I could hear the frustration in his voice. "I want to build stronger connections with my team," he explained, "but I don't drink, and some team members see that as strange." His experience highlights how deeply cultural norms influence our workplace interactions. What's "normal" in one context can create invisible barriers in another. 

Pause for a moment and consider: What cultural norms in your workplace might be creating unintended divisions? 

When Phillip realized that traditional after-hours socializing was excluding some team members, he made a crucial shift. Instead of trying to change people's preferences, he moved team-building activities to core work hours. This simple change meant everyone could participate authentically, without compromising their personal values or choices. 

Ask yourself: How might you create spaces where all team members can show up authentically? 

In my coaching practice, I often see leaders struggle with similar challenges. They know diversity matters - the research shows organizations with strong cross-cultural leadership see 22% higher engagement and 31% lower turnover. But numbers don't tell the whole story. The real transformation happens when leaders learn to see cultural differences not as obstacles to overcome, but as strengths to leverage. 

Reflect: Are you approaching cultural differences as problems to solve or opportunities to embrace? 

Your Challenge This Week 

For next 1-1 management or mentoring or team meeting, try this: Before diving into the agenda, take five minutes to learn something new about that individual’s backgrounds. Ask about their preferred working styles, their cultural perspectives on collaboration, or their ideas about effective team building. Don't just listen to respond - listen to understand. 

Listening well is the gateway to bridging stronger pillars of trust.

Then, consider how this new understanding might reshape your approach to your engagement and leadership. Remember, every interaction is an opportunity to build stronger connections across cultural divides.

The question isn't whether cultural differences exist in your team - they do. The question is: How will you use these differences to make your team stronger? 

What one step will you take this week to turn a cultural difference into a team strength? 

Launching Rockets Before the VC Runs Out: Walking the Line Between Vision and Reality

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A startup CTO's raw account of choosing between company culture and the capital countdown.

3 Pathways to navigate next steps to impossible decisions

Christopher massaged his temples, staring at the latest test results illuminated by his office monitor. The data wasn't catastrophic, but it wasn't good either. As Chief Technical Officer, he'd built his reputation on technical excellence and unwavering integrity. Now, those very principles were being tested daily in the pressure cooker of startup reality.

"We can just sign off on it and fix it in the next iteration," his colleague had suggested earlier that day, with that characteristic startup optimism that made Christopher's stomach churn. "The investors need to see progress."

Progress had become a double-edged sword in the rocket startup world. In the boardroom, it meant hitting arbitrary milestones that looked good on quarterly reports. In the test facility, it meant methodical validation, careful documentation, and sometimes—the hardest pill for investors to swallow—taking two steps back to move one step forward safely.

The manufacturing floor below his office buzzed with activity, his team of eight working diligently on the next prototype. He'd handpicked each one, invested in their development, and watched them grow from talented individuals into a cohesive unit. Their commitment was unwavering, but lately, he'd noticed the strain in their eyes. They felt it, too—the growing disconnect between the company's words and actions.

"We're different," the founders had proclaimed when they'd recruited him from his backyard in California during COVID. "We're building a company that cares about its people, that does things right." Christopher had believed them then. Four years and seventy employees later, he was wrestling with the gap between that vision and reality.

The company's culture had begun to fragment. Simple process improvements that would benefit everyone got vetoed by individual holdouts. Documentation requirements – critical for safety and traceability – were treated as optional bureaucratic hurdles rather than essential safeguards. Accountability existed in presentations but evaporated in practice.

His phone buzzed with another message from the CEO: "Board presentation tomorrow. Need updates on the production timeline."

Christopher closed his eyes, remembering his conversation with his president that morning. "If you leave, we're done," the president had said. "I don't mean to put this all on you, but I'm putting it all on you." The weight of those words sat heavily on his shoulders.

Running a manufacturing department in aerospace wasn't like running a candy shop. They were creating controlled explosions at an airport. Every decision, every signature, every process had real consequences. However, trying to enforce standards while maintaining morale was becoming an increasingly delicate balance.

"You're intimidating," they'd told him in feedback sessions. "You need to be less negative." But how do you sugarcoat physics? How do you make safety requirements more palatable? When did upholding standards become negative?

Opening his laptop, Christopher began drafting an email to the founders. They started this journey with shared values—respect, excellence, and integrity. Somewhere along the way, those values had become PowerPoint slides rather than daily practices. The company needed to mature and align its actions with its stated principles.

The easy path would be to walk away. His skills were in demand, and other companies would welcome his experience. But that wasn't who he was. He'd invested too much of himself in this team, this vision, this dream of building something different in an industry known for burning through talent and burning out people.

Looking through the window at his team below, Christopher made his decision. He would stay and fight for technical excellence and the culture they'd promised to build. The company needed to grow, which meant having uncomfortable conversations about accountability, following through on commitments, and aligning values with behaviors.

Tomorrow's board meeting would be challenging. The investors would push for shortcuts, faster timelines, and more "progress." But real progress meant building something sustainable—not just in terms of technology but also in terms of people and principles.

Christopher began typing his presentation, leading with the hard truths. The company was at a crossroads. It could continue down the path of least resistance, making decisions by exception and watching its culture erode, or it could recommit to its founding values and put in the hard work of building a company worth believing in.

The test results still glowed on his other monitor, a reminder of the technical challenges ahead. However, as he drafted his message, Christopher felt a familiar sense of purpose return. In an industry where failure meant more than missed quarters, integrity wasn't just a virtue—it was a survival strategy. Sometimes, true leadership meant being the voice of uncomfortable truths, even when it meant standing alone.

Finding Your Way Forward: Reflections for Leaders at the Crossroads

Christopher's story isn't just about rockets and runways – it's about the universal challenge of maintaining professional integrity while navigating the pressures of performance and progress. Perhaps you recognize yourself in his struggle, caught between the demands of stakeholders and your standards of excellence. Maybe you are wrestling with decisions that seem to have no clear, correct answer.

When the stakes are high, and the path forward is clouded by subjectivity, even the most seasoned leaders can feel paralyzed. Here are three pathways to help you find clarity and purpose when facing impossible decisions:

Step Outside Your Bubble: Gain New Perspective

As a wise missionary mentor once observed, we must "get out of the demographic." Our immediate circumstances can create a tunnel vision that blinds us to broader possibilities. What we perceive as insurmountable challenges in our professional bubble might look very different when viewed through a different lens.

This isn't about diminishing your challenges by comparing them to "third-world problems." Rather, it's about seeking perspectives that shake loose our fixed thinking patterns. This might mean:

• Spending time in nature, where the scale of your challenges shifts against the backdrop of mountains or oceans

• Volunteering in communities different from your own

• Engaging with leaders from entirely different industries who've faced similar crossroads

• Taking time for silent reflection away from the constant hum of business

Seek Wisdom: Leverage Your Support Network

No leader should navigate difficult decisions in isolation. Christopher's story emerged from a coaching conversation that helped him articulate his frustrations, underlying values, and non-negotiables. Consider:

• Engaging with a professional coach who can help you process your thoughts and clarify your path

• Connecting with mentors who've weathered similar storms

• Building a personal board of advisors – trusted voices who can offer different perspectives and challenge your assumptions

• Creating space for honest dialogue with peers facing similar challenges

Pause and Realign: Return to Your Core

We can lose sight of our fundamental values and purpose under the pressure of immediate decisions. Take time to:

• Identify your core values and non-negotiables

• Map the gaps between your current reality and these values.

• Recognize where you've made compromises and why

• Recenter yourself on your primary purpose.

For Christopher, this reflection revealed that while he loved building rockets, his priority was building people. This clarity led to a strategy: focus on building a strong culture first, knowing that engaged, aligned people would ultimately build better rockets. The numbers would follow the fundamentals.

The Universal Truth of Leadership

You may not be launching rockets or running a startup. Your decisions might not make headlines or move markets. But your leadership matters profoundly – whether in a corporate boardroom or at your kitchen table. The quality of your decisions, the wisdom of your discernment, and your commitment to doing what's right create ripples that extend far beyond your immediate sphere of influence.

Remember:

• Short-term pressures will always push against long-term wisdom

• The easy path rarely leads to lasting impact

• Your integrity is your most valuable asset

• Building the right way is more important than building the fast way

• People and principles outlast products and profits

Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about having the courage to ask the right questions, the wisdom to seek guidance, and the integrity to stand firm when it matters most. Ultimately, the impossible decisions often become clear when viewed through the lens of our deepest values and longest-term impact.

Resolution Meets Resistance: A Leader's Path Through Adversity

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95% of Resolutions Fail. It's a hard statistical reality. Will you be in the 5% this year?

The 5% represents those who set resolutions and have the resilience and strategic rest to see them through. Don't get me wrong; it's good to see gyms filled, fresh energy emerging in the year, job applications opening up, markets on the rise, and even more people coming to church last Sunday. There's a contagious optimism about the New Year. Yet, our resolve to put our best foot forward always faces resistance.

For the last 5 years or so, when leading a session on goal setting, motivation, or time management, I'll lead with a bit of humor, "Give a show of hands. How many of you want to be rich and skinny in the next 90 days?" That sounds great, too; I'll ask, "How many of you succeeded in your New Year's Resolutions this past year?" One or two hands may go up. The issue with resolutions is our resolve, yet working as a coach for a decade, I've noticed the problem runs deeper regarding our beliefs around resistance. Like those in the gym, this week will tell you – resistance training is the only way toward growth.

Spoken candidly, few have the resolve to sacrifice or suffer to endure till the finish line. The juice may not be worth the squeeze.

Speaking of suffering, in the fall of 2022, this truth became painfully personal when I faced a debilitating back crisis. As my L5 and S1 vertebrae collapsed onto nerve endings, creating excruciating pain, I found myself in serious consultations with two neurosurgeons who presented a stark reality: consider spinal fusion surgery or face a future of increasing limitation. The path forward demanded more than just medical intervention – it required a complete reimagining of my lifestyle, beginning with the challenging work of managing the mental and emotional stress that had manifested physically during my work as a leadership consultant with medical leaders amidst the healthcare crisis. Sometimes, our most significant challenges force us to rethink our approach rather than push harder along the same path.

A core principle emerged from my journey: Resistance training builds resilience, and resilience strengthens resolve.

Just as the body initially resists unfamiliar physical demands, organizations and teams naturally push back against change, even when beneficial. Foregoing the surgical route and mitigating the stress in my back, my physical therapy transition from running to swimming illustrates how adaptation, rather than mere persistence, often paves the way to success. Despite warnings that my running days were over, careful experimentation and gradual progression eventually enabled a return to the treadmill, complementing an established swimming routine that had grown to three miles weekly.

The key insight for leaders is profound: growth emerges not from resolution alone, but from deliberately engaging with resistance. Whether pushing through another lap in the pool, exercising patience instead of succumbing to anger, choosing to listen before speaking, or trusting your team instead of seizing control – each moment of resistance becomes an opportunity to build resilience.

This principle extends beyond personal development to organizational transformation. Leaders who understand this dynamic approach resistance not as an obstacle to be eliminated, but as a natural part of the growth process. They recognize that the challenges faced while implementing new initiatives – digital transformations, cultural shifts, or operational changes – forge more resilient organizations and teams.

My swimming journey perfectly captures this truth: progress comes through pushing against resistance. Each stroke through the water builds strength precisely because of the water's pushback. Similarly, organizational changes gain momentum and sustainability by addressing and working through resistance rather than avoiding it.

Embracing this understanding is crucial for leaders embarking on new year initiatives. The measure of success lies not in the absence of resistance but in the capacity to work through it productively. Whether implementing new technologies, reshaping team dynamics, or pursuing personal development goals, the resistance encountered often indicates that you're moving in the direction of meaningful change.

The most impactful resolutions—personal or organizational—aren't those that avoid resistance but anticipate and embrace it as part of the growth process. There's a secret to being among the 5% who achieve their resolutions: it requires a clear resolution, deep dedication to finishing what we started, and, most importantly, embracing resistance as an opportunity rather than a threat. This transformative power of embracing resistance is what empowers leaders and inspires them to achieve their goals.

Through resistance, we develop resilience. However, another critical element often overlooked in our pursuit of goals is the power of rest. Like those in gyms getting their reps in between weight sets, interval training has rest built in for recovery. Just as any piece of music includes rests for rhythm and melody, providing musicians time to catch their breath, our journey toward meaningful change requires similar pauses.

In every powerful conversation, the silence creates space for reflection and insight after a significant question. To calibrate work-life harmony, our weekly rhythms must include time for recreation, restful Sabbath, and reconnection with loved ones. This rest isn't merely a pause in activity—it's strategic preparation that allows you to leverage strength when, not if, resistance comes. Emphasizing the strategic nature of rest reassures leaders and helps them maintain a balanced approach to their goals.

True resolutions go beyond the superficial desires of being "rich and skinny." Genuine commitments have meaning and purpose. The leaders who succeed in their transformative journeys understand the wisdom of prioritizing significance over mere success. They recognize that resistance isn't their enemy but their trainer, building the strength needed for sustainable change. Stressing the significance of resolutions over mere success motivates leaders and helps them stay focused on their purpose.

As you move toward your resolutions this year, leverage these three elements: the wisdom to recognize the significance of your priorities, the understanding that resistance builds rather than blocks your path and the rhythm of rest that sustains your journey. In doing so, you might find yourself not just among the 5% who achieve their resolutions, but among the few who transform resistance into resilience, creating lasting change that extends far beyond the new year.

The path through resistance isn't just about reaching goals – it's about becoming someone capable of achieving and sustaining them. Like my journey from spinal crisis to renewed strength through swimming and eventual return to running, your path forward may require adaptation, patience, and a willingness to embrace the resistance that shapes your resilience. Remember, each lap in the pool, each minute on the treadmill, each moment of choosing patience over anger or trust over control – these are the resistance training moments that build the strength to turn resolutions into reality.

The Power of Vulnerability: When Not Knowing Unlocks Everything

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Fear of Asking Simple Questions Reveals a Universal Leadership Challenge

In a recent coaching session, a data analyst named John shared a common challenge: hesitating to ask "basic" questions about his work and fearing colleague judgment. Despite being highly competent in analyzing complex datasets, he was stuck on a simple question about payment methods in his current project. His reluctance to ask was potentially limiting his understanding and the project's overall impact.

This scenario mirrors a paradox many professionals face. We strive to appear competent and knowledgeable, yet this desire can prevent us from accessing deeper insights and stronger relationships that come through vulnerable moments of asking what we don't know.

What holds us back?

Often, the voice suggests we 'should already know this' or worries that others might question our expertise. But it's important to remember that it's okay not to know everything. We craft elaborate ways to avoid revealing gaps in our knowledge, spending more energy hiding what we don't know than learning what we need to know.

But here's the breakthrough: Something remarkable happens when we dare to ask those seemingly basic questions. One question often cascades into a rich, multi-layered conversation that nobody anticipated. A simple query about a payment method might unlock new project possibilities, reveal unexpected process improvements, or highlight overlooked opportunities. This is the power of your question, the empowerment that comes from sparking a conversation that leads to new insights.

Think of questions as keys that unlock doors to mutual discovery. When you ask a question, you're not just seeking information – you're creating space for collaborative thinking. Your vulnerability often encourages others to share their uncertainties, leading to more authentic and productive discussions.

Consider trying this: In your next meeting, shift your mindset from "I need to prove what I know" to "I wonder what I might learn here." Approach each interaction with genuine curiosity about what new perspective or insight you might gain. Whether you're meeting with a senior leader or a peer, there's always something valuable to discover if you're brave enough to ask.

Start small. Choose one question you've been hesitating to ask. Frame it as an opportunity for mutual learning rather than a display of what you don't know. You might be surprised that your question triggers a domino effect of insights, leading to deeper understanding for everyone involved.

Remember, vulnerability in professional settings isn't about exposing weaknesses – it's about opening doors to stronger relationships, better solutions, and unexpected breakthroughs. The risk of momentary discomfort is often far outweighed by the rewards of deeper connection and discovery.

Your Challenge: Take on this social experiment. In your next five meetings, intentionally ask one question that makes you feel slightly vulnerable. Track how these questions impact the conversation, what discoveries emerge, and how relationships deepen. This simple practice might become a transformative habit that builds confidence, strengthens teamwork, and sparks innovation.

Your next "basic" question might be the key that unlocks your team's next big breakthrough.

Beyond New Year's Resolutions: The Art of Leadership Listening

The Art of Leadership Listening Reveals the Secret to Meaningful Impact

As we step into 2025, many leaders are on the lookout for ways to make a significant impact in their organizations. While the usual resolutions tend to revolve around metrics and deliverables, a compelling alternative is gaining traction: the art of intentional listening. This fresh approach, in contrast to the traditional ones, has the potential to bring about a more profound and meaningful change.

Consider Jamie, a learning and development consultant who discovered that his greatest professional impact comes not from speaking but from creating space for others to share their stories. "I find enjoyment just sitting back, listening. I'll have a cup of coffee and just say, 'Tell me about you,'" he reflects. This simple yet profound approach has transformed his ability to support organizational growth and development.

The key lies in what Jamie calls "being in the moment" – fully present and genuinely curious about others' experiences and aspirations. This practice isn't just about hearing words; it's about understanding the deeper motivations and values that drive people's goals and decisions.

For leaders looking to enhance their impact in 2025, here's a practical framework:

Start with passion. Begin conversations by asking what excites people about the year ahead. This will open the door to authentic dialogue and reveal underlying motivations.

Practice the two-minute rule. When someone shares their goals or challenges, commit to listening for two full minutes before responding. This creates space for deeper reflection and demonstrates genuine interest.

Follow the thread. Instead of jumping to solutions, ask thoughtful follow-up questions to help people explore their thinking. The right question at the right time can lead to powerful insights.

Build trust gradually. Remember that deeper conversations require established relationships. Start with surface-level exchanges and progressively build toward more meaningful discussions as trust develops.

What makes this approacH powerful is its simplicity.

It doesn't demand complex strategies or extensive resources – just the willingness to be present and curious. As Jamie discovered, the most impactful leadership moments sometimes come from simply creating space for others to share their stories and aspirations. This simplicity makes intentional listening a highly accessible and appealing tool for any leader.

As you chart your course for 2025, consider making intentional listening a cornerstone of your leadership practice. Understanding others' perspectives and motivations can yield returns far beyond traditional goal-setting approaches, paving the way for lasting impact through stronger relationships and deeper understanding.

What's Your Leadership Tool Stack?

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Leading teams is like trying to build blindfolded – you can feel the pieces moving, but without clear insight, you're working in the dark. Understanding ourselves and our people is often the most challenging yet crucial aspect of leadership. While we can master technical skills through practice and study, the human element – with all its complexities, emotions, and unique perspectives requires different tools altogether.

Twenty-five years ago, my journey into these human dynamics began when my Vistage coach introduced me to the DISC assessment, followed closely by exploring Myers-Briggs with a mentor. What struck me most was the consistency – my MBTI type has remained ENTP through multiple assessments across a quarter century, and my StrengthsFinder results have shown similar stability. This reliability isn't just coincidence; it's what psyshometricians call high test-retest reliability, a crucial marker of assessment quality. (Russell’s 14 page paper - HPI, FIRO-B, and TKI are reliable and valid assessments)

Let's explore some key leadership assessment tools and their specific applications:

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Purpose: Identifies personality preferences across four dimensions, helping people understand their natural tendencies in processing information, making decisions, and interacting with others. Pros: Widely recognized, easy to understand, extensive research base Cons: Can lead to "boxing" people into types, sometimes oversimplified Best for: Individual development, team communication improvement. Sample MBTI

Hogan Personality Inventory (HPI) Purpose: Measures normal personality traits and predicts job performance Pros: Strong predictive validity for workplace performance, comprehensive reporting, robust scientific foundation Cons: Requires significant training to administer, more expensive than some alternatives Best for: Talent acquisition, Executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning. Sample: HPI Overview , HPI Insights

Workplace Big 5 Purpose: Measures five fundamental personality dimensions in work contexts Pros: Research-based, stable measurements, strong validity Cons: Can be complex to interpret, requires skilled facilitation Best for: Talent acquisition, Leadership development, team composition, career planning. Sample: Big 5 Individual Trait , Group Insights, Leadership Competency

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) Purpose: Assesses how people typically handle conflict through five modes Pros: Practical application, easy to understand, non-judgmental framework Cons: Limited scope, focuses solely on conflict handling Best for: Team development, conflict management training. Sample: TKI Individual, TKI Team

FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior) Purpose: Measures interpersonal needs and behaviors in three areas: inclusion, control, and affection Pros: Reveals underlying motivations, helpful for relationship building Cons: Can be manipulated, requires careful interpretation Best for: Emerging leaders, management development, team dynamics. Sample: FIRO-B for Organizations

Birkman Method Purpose: Assesses personality, social perception, and occupational interests Pros: Comprehensive view of behavior and needs, excellent for team dynamics Cons: Complex interpretation, requires certified consultant Best for: Team workshops, career development, organizational planning. Sample: Russell Verhey’s Birkman (Bonus), Individual Basic, Basic Group Report

360-Degree Feedback Purpose: Gathers multi-source feedback on leadership behaviors Pros: Provides comprehensive feedback, identifies blind spots Cons: Can be time-consuming, requires careful administration Best for: Leadership development, coaching intensives, performance improvement. Sample: CCL Benchmark 360, Korn Ferry 360, Birkman 360, Hogan 360, Advance Custom

Team Primary

StrengthsFinder (Gallup CliftonStrengths) Purpose: Identifies an individual's top 5 talents from 34 themes, emphasizing natural strengths rather than fixing weaknesses Pros: Research-backed, positive approach, practical for team composition Cons: May overlook development needs, requires coaching for best results. Best for: Career development, team role alignment, leveraging natural talents Sample: Clifton’s 34 Strengths

Choosing Your Tools

Like any craftsperson, leaders need to select the right tool for the job. Consider these questions when selecting an assessment:

1. What specific insight are you seeking?

2. What's the context – individual development, team building, or organizational change?

3. Who will interpret the results? (Some tools require certified facilitators)

4. What's your budget and timeline?

5. How will you apply the insights gained?

Remember that these tools are only as effective as the facilitator interpreting them. A skilled practitioner can help you derive meaningful insights and create actionable development plans.

Next Steps

Whether you're looking to enhance your leadership capabilities, improve team dynamics, or develop your organization, consider starting with one of these proven tools. For those new to leadership assessments, MBTI or Strength Finders provide accessible entry points. For deeper insights, especially in executive coaching contexts, the Hogan or Birkman assessments offer comprehensive perspectives.

The key is to match the tool to your specific needs and ensure you have qualified support in interpreting and applying the results. Consider consulting with experienced facilitators who can guide you in selecting and utilizing the right assessment for your situation.

Remember, these tools aren't about putting people in boxes – they're about opening doors to greater self-awareness, improved communication, and enhanced leadership effectiveness. The right tool, in the right hands, can unlock new potentials in your leadership journey.

Stats: Assessments, 1-1 and Team Debrief, as of 2024

• MBTI - 250+

• Hogan - 25+

• Big 5 - 300+

• FIRO - 200+

• TKI - 100+

• Birkman - 500+ 1-1, Teams, & Workshops

• 360 - 500+ 1-1s

• Strengths - 100+ 1-1, Teams, & Workshops

Balancing Achievement Drive with Sustainable Leadership

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The relentless drive for achievement that propels many executives to success can become their greatest challenge in building sustainable leadership careers. As illustrated in a recent executive coaching session, high-performing leaders often struggle to find the right balance between seizing every opportunity and maintaining personal sustainability.

The session revealed a common pattern: when presented with compelling opportunities, ambitious leaders often default to "if it's physically possible, I'll make it happen" - even when already operating at capacity. While this approach demonstrates impressive capability and dedication, it can lead to periods of burnout, strained relationships, and missed opportunities for developing others.

One executive reflected, "I don't want to be the kind of leader who'll do everything all the time and then burn out at some point, leaving everyone else to deal with the fallout." This insight highlights a critical inflection point many leaders face: recognizing that long-term impact requires more than just personal heroics.

““I don’t want to be the kind of leader who’ll do everything all the time and then burn out at some point, leaving everyone else to deal with the fallout.” ”

— John C - CFO

The primary challenge emerges around calibrating ambition - learning to say no to good opportunities so you can say yes to great ones, while building sustainable practices that allow for recovery and growth. This includes developing the capacity to delegate meaningful work and creating space for others to develop their capabilities.

For leaders grappling with this balance, consider these reflective questions:

1. How might your drive for achievement be limiting your organization's overall capability by inadvertently stunting others' growth opportunities?

2. What would it look like to measure your success not just by what you personally accomplish, but by the capability you build in others?

3. Where in your current role are you saying "yes" out of pride or habit rather than strategic necessity?

A practical next step is to identify one significant project or responsibility that you can thoughtfully transition to another team member over the next quarter. The goal isn't just delegation - it's creating space for others to develop while giving yourself room to operate at a more strategic level.

Remember, sustainable leadership isn't about doing less - it's about accomplishing more through others while maintaining personal effectiveness over the long term. By learning to balance achievement drive with sustainability, leaders can build lasting impact that extends beyond their personal capacity.

The most successful leaders understand that their legacy isn't measured by how many challenges they personally overcome, but by how many capable leaders they develop along the way.

The Silent Power of Emerging Leaders: Reflections from Coast to Coast

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In a week spanning from the mountains of West Virginia to the shores of California, I witnessed the unmistakable pulse of emerging leadership across America. Through team building at a university, coaching sessions with a thirty-something manufacturing executive in Ohio, and facilitating educator training in California, I observed a common thread that binds aspiring leaders: the delicate balance between boundless passion and persistent self-doubt.

One conversation particularly stands out – a meeting with an emerging manager whose words were punctuated with the recurring phrase, "I want to be..." Her story revealed an internal struggle between professional ambition and self-confidence that echoed across countless similar conversations. From coast to coast, I encountered individuals rich in opinions and passion yet tethered by their internal skepticism.

What struck me most was that these emerging leaders weren't seeking grand revelations or profound wisdom. The most powerful support often came in the form of quiet presence – a hand on the shoulder, a moment of genuine listening, an unspoken acknowledgment of their potential. Their self-criticism had become a lens through which they viewed their world and relationships, creating invisible barriers to their growth.

The depth of these encounters revealed itself in private conversations: a professional who rose from a childhood in the welfare system, another who found strength after early abandonment and adoption, and a Philippine immigrant navigating the complex maze of language, education, and economic challenges. These weren't just stories of survival; they were powerful testimonies to resilience, agility, and adaptability that can inspire and motivate us all.

Yet, a crucial insight emerged: these individuals don't seek to be problems to be fixed. Their repeated reference to 'the leader I want to be'speaks to an aspirational mindset – a genuine desire for growth and development. This realization calls for a shift in how we approach mentorship and leadership development. Perhaps the most profound impact comes not from providing solutions but from creating space for authentic expression through thoughtful questions and active listening, a practice that can make individuals feel valued and respected.

These encounters serve as powerful reminders to pause and reflect on our journey of becoming. The most transformative mentorship often lies in the unspoken words, in the spaces between conversations where trust builds and confidence grows. As we guide the next generation of leaders, we might find that their stories of determination and dreams inspire our development as leaders and human beings.

Defining Moments - Why My Passion For Leadership

Upslash @alain_rieder

Defining moments often emerge from our deepest valleys, shaping who we become and how we impact others. Personal suffering and professional setbacks can transform into purpose and wisdom.

My story weaves through pivotal moments:

• Launching a business during COVID's uncertainty in 2020

• Experiencing severe burnout from over-commitment in 2010.

• Witnessing his father's professional rise and fall in my teenage years

Perhaps the most poignant moment comes from watching his father's entrepreneurial journey – from sketching business plans at the dining room table to building a company of 150 employees, only to face the crushing reality of being fired. This experience, particularly the soul-searching conversations between father and son during our seminal walks along the river, planted seeds that would later bloom into my calling to work with CEOs.

Reflective Challenge:

Take a moment to consider your watershed moments. Which experiences of suffering or setbacks have unexpectedly shaped your path? Think about:

- Times when apparent failure led to unexpected growth

- Moments of personal crisis that revealed hidden strength

- Painful experiences that now inform how you help others

- Conversations that shifted your life's trajectory

What story of suffering is currently being transformed into purpose in your life?

The Echo of Appreciation: Reflections on Gratitude's Ripple Effect

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A Father's Words, Thirty Years in Waiting

Last week, amidst the seasoned faces of construction leaders, I recounted a memory that has left an indelible mark on my soul for three decades. On my wedding day, my father, for the first time in my memory, uttered three words that had long been silent: "I love you." The weight of that moment still reverberates within me, a defining moment that shaped the man, husband, father, and leader I would become. A marker to the transformative power of gratitude in my life and work.

The Construction Site of the Soul

When I asked these leaders how such an experience might shape one's approach to fatherhood, their divided response spoke volumes. Half believed such emotional scarcity might breed abundance, while the others thought it could perpetuate the cycle of restraint. Their split reflection mirrors how our past experiences shape our choices.

Where do you think I landed?

After knowing the lack, I hope to be man at work and at home of encouragement, recognition, and appreciation. Yet, I readily acknowledge, I’m a work in progress aspiring to these ideals. Today, I hope my children's stories paint a different picture – one of love freely given, of openly expressed appreciation. We each carry a template for showing gratitude, shaped by our experiences but not bound by them. At home, it manifests as warmth and verbal affection. In the rugged world of construction leadership or any other hardline workplace, it takes on different forms – not through group hugs or tears, but through consistently recognizing value and worth.

How would others describe your generosity of appreciation?

The Currency of Recognition

The fundamental shift in how we express appreciation at home or work begins with a profound realization: feedback should be rooted in what people need, not what we judge they deserve. It's easy to withhold praise, to say, "Why celebrate meeting basic expectations? Isn't a paycheck enough?" At home, we might think, "Why acknowledge small improvements when there's still so much room for growth?"

However, this mindset of scarcity, always seeking out what's wrong, can blind us to the small victories that truly deserve celebration. The real challenge lies in spotting these glimmers of progress even when surrounded by imperfection. It's these small victories that pave the way for larger triumphs, and it's this recognition that can keep us encouraged and hopeful.

The Season's Shadow Side

As we enter the holiday season, this message carries particular weight. These shorter days often cast longer shadows on our psyches. Many carry hidden burdens—regrets, disappointments, heartaches—that grow heavier during this reflective time. The natural response might be to work harder, to outrun these thoughts, but perhaps there's another way.

After a year of conducting over 100 leadership coaching sessions and 360-degree reviews, one truth stands clear: feedback in the form of genuine appreciation can illuminate even our darkest moments. We all know set backs, missed deadlines, and lost opportunities. These moment in our year carry a weight if not acknowledged for the good they produce. Feedback forms connection that can make us feel less alone, less burdened, and more supported.

Building Bridges Through Acknowledgment

The season's dark moments need not define us. Instead, it can remind us of our power to be an encourager, shining for others, to practice the kind of generous appreciation that creates ripples far beyond our immediate circle. Whether through a simple acknowledgment, a moment of genuine praise, or a recognition of progress amid struggle, we can break cycles of emotional scarcity and create new patterns of abundant appreciation.

As we gather around Thanksgiving tables and move through the holiday season, perhaps we can challenge ourselves to look beyond the surface, recognize the quiet battles others may be fighting, and offer the gift of genuine appreciation—not because it's deserved but because it's needed.

As I reflect, I needed those words years ago. My dad passed several years ago, he had the courage to change, learning to be generous with his love and appreciation. It’s a blessing and a model for me to do the same.

Feedback is a gift! Whether At Home or Work, Your appreciation matters….share it with someone who needs it most today!

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes other will be refreshed. ”

— Proverbs 11:25

The Weight and Wisdom of Executive Leadership

In these final weeks of 2024, I've had the privilege of coaching dozens of leaders, half of these executives managing billion-dollar decisions, and hundreds of employees. These conversations have revealed a profound truth about leadership at the highest levels: with great power comes responsibility and an intense personal investment in outcomes. This personal investment, often overlooked, is a testament to the dedication and sacrifice these leaders make.

These leaders approach their roles with decisive assertiveness, drawing on years of experience and an unwavering drive toward innovation. Yet, what stands out is how deeply personal their work becomes. Missed deadlines, unmet quotas, and unreached goals aren't just business metrics—they're taken as personal setbacks. This dedication drives success but can also exact a steep price.

The cost of leadership often manifests in overlooked priorities, neglected relationships, and compromised personal health. Consider this: if you consistently have unused PTO at year's end, are you inadvertently prioritizing work over family and well-being? The implications are worth examining.

This brings us to a critical inflection point in leadership development: accountability. As leaders ascend the corporate ladder, three essential questions emerge:

• - Who challenges your thinking?

• - Who has veto power over your decisions?

• - Who provides alternative perspectives in your life?

Counter-intuitively, effective high-level leadership requires surrendering some autonomy. It means actively granting stakeholders, mentors, and coaches permission to speak into your life and work. This vulnerability, rather than weakening leadership, strengthens it.

The path forward requires careful evaluation:

1. Assess what's at stake in your current decisions

2. Consider the long-term impact of today's commitments

3. Identify whose counsel might lead to better outcomes

4. Take inventory of your commitments, decisions, and priorities

5. Evaluate the trusted voices in your life who can serve as sounding boards, guides, and even occasional vetoes

This process isn't just about better decision-making but sustainable leadership. It’s a balance of Grit and Grace. Leaders can move forward with greater confidence and effectiveness by establishing a network of trusted advisors and maintaining the humility to heed their input.

Remember: the strongest leaders aren't those who carry the weight alone, but those who know when and whom to trust for guidance.

The Negativity Paradox: Clear in Others, Invisible in Self

The Silent Weight of Workplace Negativity: My Research Journey

My path into studying workplace negativity wasn't planned—I was thrown into the lion's den of organizational toxicity during my PhD research. What started as an academic pursuit quickly revealed a universal challenge plaguing organizations across sectors.

Through interviewing twelve high-level executives, including six CEOs managing thousands of employees, I uncovered disturbing patterns. Three executives physically collapsed from the weight of organizational negativity, with two requiring hospitalization. These weren't isolated incidents—they highlighted three critical findings:

1. Negativity's impact transcends industry boundaries, affecting everything from healthcare to construction

2. Even seasoned leaders aren't immune to its effects, as demonstrated by the physical collapse of experienced executives

3. We systematically underestimate our personal absorption of negative energy while readily identifying it in others

This paradox became the cornerstone of my research: our ability to spot negativity's impact on colleagues while remaining blind to its effect on ourselves. It's this unconscious absorption that makes workplace negativity particularly dangerous—like a silent weight that accumulates until it becomes too heavy to bear.

My findings reveal an urgent need for new approaches to recognize and address negativity before it reaches crisis levels. The physical toll on these executives serves as a stark warning about the real costs of unmanaged workplace toxicity.

Rest, Reset, Spiral Up: Learning Leadership in Real Time

As I celebrate the release of my book Spiraling Up, I find myself living its principles in real-time. With a demanding 9-week travel and leadership training schedule, it took a Colorado snowstorm and my wife's gentle reminder to recognize that I needed rest. A few sharp comments revealed that fatigue of my own pace and external factors from all happening around me was setting in, and negativity surfaced around those closest to me—time for a pause, self-reflection, and self-leadership after a good nap.

My experience reinforces one of the book's core insights: we often don't realize how much negativity we've absorbed until it surfaces unexpectedly. I'm thankful for the feedback that keeps me accountable to the leadership I strive to embody at home and work.

Negativity is subtle. It accumulates quietly and can impact us exponentially. If you're wrestling with its effects in your professional life, Spiraling Up offers a pathway toward positive transformation. I invite you to engage with the book, reflect on your own experiences with negativity, and join me in this journey toward shaping a positive culture around you. After all, I'm not just the author—I'm also a practitioner learning alongside you.

Spiraling Up Launch! - Watch the 90 Second Trailer

Whether you are a seasoned executive looking to reinvigorate a stagnant culture or a new manager seeking to build a foundation of positivity from the ground up, 'Spiraling Up' is designed to be your guide, your toolkit, and your inspiration on this transformative journey. The book is divided into three parts:

• Part 1 - Focuses on understanding workplace negativity

• Part 2 - Delves into the SPIRAL framework - 6 strategies for addressing it

• Part 3 - Provides practical steps for transforming it.

Each chapter will be concluded with a summary of insights, reflection questions, and a team exercise, creating a real-time response for leaders with their teams.

Together, we will explore the art and science of authentic leadership, the power of reframing negative mindsets, and the practical steps you can take to cultivate a workplace culture that brings out the best in everyone.  

So, let us embark on this journey together as we uncover the secrets of 'Spiraling Up' and unlock the full potential of our teams, our organizations, and ourselves as leaders in an ever-changing world. With your dedication, compassion, and steadfast commitment to positive change, we can transform even the most challenging workplace dynamics and create organizations that thrive in adversity.  

“Spiraling-Up is like a “break glass in case of emergency” kit for culture change.”

— Michael Brunner Senior Director R&D Strategy at Kimberly-Clark