Redefining Success - 5 Considerations to Level-Set Your Success Criteria

Unsplash @grinderdm

Why Achievement Without Alignment Leaves Leaders Empty at the Top

My joy and heartache as a mentor, coach, and friend come from listening to stories of peaks and valleys in life and work. I've sat with leaders who strived to succeed in their businesses, going all in with their time and resources, only to be left in failure—validating the statistical reality that 90% of start-ups fail. The primary contributors to the failure of any venture are stark and often unforgiving: lack of financing or investors, running out of cash, lack of market demand or poor timing, and people problems. Success more often lies in factors beyond our control.

Yet, I also have the privilege of partnering with a few courageous souls who venture and succeed toward their dreams. Whether in corporate environments or entrepreneurial start-ups, we tend to climb the ladder of success only to often arrive at the top with the sobering reality that we were climbing the wrong ladder all along. Such sobriety at pivotal moments in our lives and work gives us pause to redefine our success criteria, a courageous act that inspires and empowers us all.

After 15 years of running a business, I have experienced firsthand the highs and lows of success and failure while trying to make sense of defining my success between wins and losses, victory and setbacks, and success and failure. Over the last decade, after thousands of hours spent in one-on-one coaching partnerships with leaders across industries, a central question has emerged at the core of nearly every leadership challenge: What is success? This deceptively simple question often proves the most difficult for leaders to answer authentically.

5 Criteria for Navigating what is success:

Seasonality of Success: Success in our twenties looks fundamentally different from success in our forties or fifties. Recognizing your current season and adjusting your definition of success accordingly acknowledges that our values, core beliefs, and priorities naturally shift throughout our professional journey.

From Success to Significance: As Bob Buford powerfully explored in his influential book "Halftime," true leadership growth often requires moving beyond conventional achievement metrics toward what creates lasting meaning and value. This transition invites leaders to identify what is genuinely significant in their current season and understand why it matters to them personally.

Sustainability vs. Sprinting: Many leaders operate in perpetual sprint mode, moving from deadline to deadline, only to find themselves exhausted and questioning their path. Developing sustainable models across all dimensions—financial, emotional, mental, and relational—transforms survival mode into thriving leadership.

Support Systems: The myth of the self-made leader crumbles under scrutiny. We're all standing on someone's shoulders or have been sponsored or supported by others throughout our life and work. Building and nurturing support networks provides assistance and accountability throughout your leadership journey.

Sage Wisdom: Drawing from the experiences of those who have navigated similar challenges can provide invaluable shortcuts to sustainable leadership. While no mentor leader is perfect, learning from others' patterns of success offers practical guidance for your journey, making you feel guided and supported.

Practical Next Steps for Redefining Success

1. Conduct a Season Assessment: Take an honest inventory of your current life stage. How have your priorities shifted from five years ago? What values now take precedence that didn't before?

2. Define Your Significance: Write down three legacies you hope to leave through your work and leadership. How do these align with your current focus and time allocation?

3. Audit Your Sustainability: Identify areas where you're running a sprint when you need marathon endurance. Create boundaries that protect your physical, emotional, and relational well-being.

4. Select Your Sages and Support: Identify 2-3 mentor leaders and friends whose trajectory you admire and respect. Contact at least one to discuss their definition of success.

5. Schedule Reflection Time: Block time; start with 30 minutes weekly to assess your progress, adjust your approach, and reconnect with what truly matters this season.

Chasing success can feel like chasing the wind; it's always changing and elusive. If we're honest, we may be chasing someone else's definition of success. Whatever ladder you may be climbing, take pause. Reflect on these steps to offer a renewed perspective of your success criteria and strategies to attain it, then count the cost. Then, take a few steps of faith that align with your deepest values and most significant priorities.

Taking the First Steps to Becoming a Mentor: A Guide for Seasoned Leaders

UnSplash @priscilladupreez

great mentors aren't born – they're developed through practice, reflection, and a genuine desire to help others succeed.

As seasoned leaders, we often reach a point in our careers where we want to give back and share our wealth of experience. Mentorship offers a powerful way to do this, and the sense of fulfillment it brings is unparalleled. Transitioning into a mentoring role can be challenging, but it's a journey worth embarking on. Inspired by a recent coaching session with Holly, a veteran project leader in the biotech industry, here are some critical steps to begin your journey as a mentor.

Start with Small Talk and Build Rapport

The foundation of any successful mentoring relationship is trust and rapport. Holly realized that her first step was to avoid diving into formal mentoring programs and engaging in more casual interactions with potential mentees. By spending time in common areas like the office atrium or break room, she could initiate low-pressure conversations about upcoming holidays or weekend plans. These seemingly simple exchanges can open doors to deeper connections.

Practice Active Listening

As leaders, we're often accustomed to providing solutions and directing others. However, effective mentorship requires a shift in mindset. Holly recognized that she needed to focus more on listening than telling. Mentors can help mentees discover their own solutions and insights by asking open-ended questions such as 'What do you think is the best approach to this situation?' or 'How do you feel about the outcome?' and truly hearing the responses.

Be Approachable and Accessible

Holly discovered that some younger colleagues seemed nervous about approaching her despite her years of experience. To counter this, she decided to make a conscious effort to be more visible and approachable. This might mean leaving her office door open, participating in company social events, or simply smiling and greeting colleagues in the hallway. Being approachable and accessible is key to fostering a comfortable and open mentoring relationship.

Reflect on Your Own Experiences

Before jumping into mentorship, take time to reflect on your career journey. What challenges did you face? What lessons did you learn the hard way? What do you wish someone had told you earlier in your career? These reflections can provide valuable insights to share with mentees, and they can also be a source of personal growth and insight for you as a mentor.

Start Informally Before Formalizing

Rather than immediately setting up structured mentoring sessions, begin with informal interactions. Offer to grab coffee with a younger colleague or invite someone to bounce ideas off you. These casual interactions can naturally evolve into more formal mentoring relationships over time.

Focus on Development, Not Problem-Solving

Holly realized that effective mentorship is more than solving a mentee's problems. Instead, it's about helping them develop the skills and mindset to tackle challenges. When mentees come to you with issues, resist the urge to provide solutions immediately. Instead, ask questions that guide them toward their conclusions.

Be Vulnerable and Authentic

Many seasoned leaders, like Holly, worry that showing emotion or admitting weaknesses might undermine their authority. However, sharing your struggles and how you overcame them can make you more relatable and create stronger connections with mentees. It's okay to let them know that leadership isn't always easy, even after years of experience.

Continually Learn and Adapt

As you begin your mentoring journey, remember that it's a learning experience for you, too. Be open to feedback, stay curious about new perspectives, and be willing to adapt your approach based on what works best for each mentee.

By taking these first steps, seasoned leaders can begin to transition into rewarding mentorship roles, sharing their valuable experience while continuing to grow and learn themselves. Remember, great mentors aren't born – they're developed through practice, reflection, and a genuine desire to help others succeed.