It's lonely at the top! Leaders are often surrounded by people yet feel alone in their thoughts, challenges, and dreams. As a leader in your organization, do you ever feel that way? Well, you're not alone!
Leaders everywhere struggle with the reality of this issue. Isolation is truly epidemic within organizations, churches, and even families due to a lack of authenticity. All leaders need some authentic engagement or their influence will suffer. So, what can you do today? Here are 7 Engagement Strategies to help end your isolation.
Strategy #1 - Rebuild Team Trust - Broken trust will kill the conversation. The health of your conversation will clearly define the health of the relationship. It is far too common once trust is broken a leader makes an inner vow that declares, “I will never trust like that again”. Whether the context is personal or professional the vow remains. There’s a fundamental question that has to be answered in a situation where trust is been compromised. Can trust be rebuilt? I have facilitated many team sessions and consistently see the answer is split down the middle. There’s a belief that says once it’s broken it can never be repaired. I encourage leaders to believe that while it takes time, trust can be restored and rebuilt. What’s your answer to this question? For your answer will determine how lonely you will be as a leader.
Strategy #2 - Create a Culture of Authenticity - Culture reflects the spirit and values of the organization. Culture is borne by the actions, strength, health, and clarity of the leader. People are looking for authenticity in shared values and consistency of your actions with your stated values. Authentic leaders attract great people who will do the same. Start today sharing more of what matters most to you. You are the banner carrier of the culture. The way you lead and coach your team will permeate the organization. When you do communicate with your team share a story that illustrates what values reflect your core beliefs and insights into your actions. Your story will invite your team to tell their stories. Environments that provide open conversations will build a great culture. Then you’ll find connecting points with your team beyond just the bottom line.
Strategy #3 - Seek Objective Counsel - Leaders get pulled in many directions. They have a lot of voices in their life. Some of the primary voices of influence are the leader’s direct reports, management team, or even the board of directors. They are team members yet the demands of their roles and responsibilities limit their objectivity. Finding constructive feedback and good counsel can be challenging. Motives are quickly revealed that cross the line of serving their interests above your own or the good of the organization. Where do you go to find objective feedback? It may take time but there is someone within your circles of relationships who is available, competent, and trustworthy. Objectivity helps minimize confusion and clarifies the needs of the leader and team. Engage by finding someone who has nothing to gain or lose from an issue. Learning from their wisdom and experience will help you gain confidence in leading your team.
Strategy #4 - Align your Interests, Hobbies, and Passions with a Community - Leaders are busy! Often, the tyranny of urgent tasks creates reactive habits in our work life. Reactive work leaves little margin for proactive, strategic thinking and actions. When we finally pause to catch our breath after a demanding project or near impossible year-end goal we’re exhausted. It’s a pattern that may go on for months or even years. Your zest for life may be sucked dry and may have you feeling alone. Can you relate? If so, I encourage you to rekindle that inner or soul fire by reminding yourself of what you love to do outside of work. If you’re too far removed from the answer then ask a few people who have an insight into your life “when do you see me smile the most?” It’s a great question to ask friends and families to help identity what makes you come alive. Identify your interests, hobbies, and passions. Then call a few friends, plan a time to build some memories, and have some fun. Refreshing yourself may bring that smile back to the surface again.
Strategy #5 - Commit to a Leadership Peer Group - Most leaders know the value of a credible, competent, and knowledgeable consultant who’s dialed into the details of your organization. Their feedback can make a significant difference to your strategy, direction, and health of the organization. Now take the value of that consultant and multiply by 12. What did you get? A peer-to-peer leadership team. It’s a collection of CEOs, key executive leaders, and entrepreneurs often with 15-20 years of experience in leadership and their industry. Now you have 200-300 years of wisdom, understanding, and a fresh perspective on the issues at hand. It’s a collective counsel instead of a single voice. In addition, it’s counsel built around a community of friends who weigh in on the opportunities and challenges of life. As a facilitator of a CEO and key leadership team in Colorado, I’ve seen first hand that such a peer group is rare yet if found can be priceless to an isolated leader.
Strategy # 6 - Get a Coach - All leaders have blind spots. No matter your intelligence, EQ or IQ, we can’t see all the angles. We need objective feedback from someone other than a ‘Yes man.’ It’s exhausting to have the final decision rest with you, the leader, without some genuine push back. Executive and performance coaches get into your business. They ask the tough questions. On the surface it may seems threatening, but it's actually refreshing because often leaders have fooled themselves as well as their team. A good coach will help define the real issues so you can focus on the right priorities. Once the priorities are declared a coach will help get you moving. One of the greatest symptoms of isolation is immobility or indecision. Leadership requires taking risk. Isolated leaders are stuck leaders. A coach will help you get moving!
Strategy #7 - Find a Trusted Friend- The most trust relationship are the ones with whom you can share your greatest fears and dreams. When you do it is powerful in sharing but so much more in the celebrating when those dreams come true. Regarding your fears let’s be honest everyone has them. I’ve stood in many team meetings, retreats, and even church events and asked ‘how many of you worry?’ Every hand goes up. You are not alone in your temptation to fear. The compromise of character and carnage that results would be mitigated if troubled leaders had a friend. We’re back our first point of building trust but at another level. Here’s one of the most powerful and provoking questions you can ask a leader, do you have one person with whom you can share your secrets? Asked another way, do you have someone with whom you can share your dreams and your fears? If you are feeling lonely as a leader may be one of your greatest goals in the next year is to evaluate your friendships then move to the next level of trust. For the lonely leader finding a trusted friend may be the most challenging pursuit of all 7, yet once found the most rewarding for your effort. (Get more questions and ways to build stronger friendship in Russell’s book the Conversationalist.)
All 7 strategies may seem simplistic and self-explanatory. Yet, I would challenge you with a quick personal assessment. How would you measure yourself in these 7 Strategies? Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being completely isolated and a 10 being your best possible engagement. Your answers will give you a quick indication of where you need to start first. A low score in all areas simply reveals the reality of your isolation. A high score celebrates your engagement as a healthy leader who’s likely surrounded by a great team. Say no to isolation! Take the challenge, pick one strategy, and get engaged.
