Redefining Success - 5 Considerations to Level-Set Your Success Criteria

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Why Achievement Without Alignment Leaves Leaders Empty at the Top

My joy and heartache as a mentor, coach, and friend come from listening to stories of peaks and valleys in life and work. I've sat with leaders who strived to succeed in their businesses, going all in with their time and resources, only to be left in failure—validating the statistical reality that 90% of start-ups fail. The primary contributors to the failure of any venture are stark and often unforgiving: lack of financing or investors, running out of cash, lack of market demand or poor timing, and people problems. Success more often lies in factors beyond our control.

Yet, I also have the privilege of partnering with a few courageous souls who venture and succeed toward their dreams. Whether in corporate environments or entrepreneurial start-ups, we tend to climb the ladder of success only to often arrive at the top with the sobering reality that we were climbing the wrong ladder all along. Such sobriety at pivotal moments in our lives and work gives us pause to redefine our success criteria, a courageous act that inspires and empowers us all.

After 15 years of running a business, I have experienced firsthand the highs and lows of success and failure while trying to make sense of defining my success between wins and losses, victory and setbacks, and success and failure. Over the last decade, after thousands of hours spent in one-on-one coaching partnerships with leaders across industries, a central question has emerged at the core of nearly every leadership challenge: What is success? This deceptively simple question often proves the most difficult for leaders to answer authentically.

5 Criteria for Navigating what is success:

Seasonality of Success: Success in our twenties looks fundamentally different from success in our forties or fifties. Recognizing your current season and adjusting your definition of success accordingly acknowledges that our values, core beliefs, and priorities naturally shift throughout our professional journey.

From Success to Significance: As Bob Buford powerfully explored in his influential book "Halftime," true leadership growth often requires moving beyond conventional achievement metrics toward what creates lasting meaning and value. This transition invites leaders to identify what is genuinely significant in their current season and understand why it matters to them personally.

Sustainability vs. Sprinting: Many leaders operate in perpetual sprint mode, moving from deadline to deadline, only to find themselves exhausted and questioning their path. Developing sustainable models across all dimensions—financial, emotional, mental, and relational—transforms survival mode into thriving leadership.

Support Systems: The myth of the self-made leader crumbles under scrutiny. We're all standing on someone's shoulders or have been sponsored or supported by others throughout our life and work. Building and nurturing support networks provides assistance and accountability throughout your leadership journey.

Sage Wisdom: Drawing from the experiences of those who have navigated similar challenges can provide invaluable shortcuts to sustainable leadership. While no mentor leader is perfect, learning from others' patterns of success offers practical guidance for your journey, making you feel guided and supported.

Practical Next Steps for Redefining Success

1. Conduct a Season Assessment: Take an honest inventory of your current life stage. How have your priorities shifted from five years ago? What values now take precedence that didn't before?

2. Define Your Significance: Write down three legacies you hope to leave through your work and leadership. How do these align with your current focus and time allocation?

3. Audit Your Sustainability: Identify areas where you're running a sprint when you need marathon endurance. Create boundaries that protect your physical, emotional, and relational well-being.

4. Select Your Sages and Support: Identify 2-3 mentor leaders and friends whose trajectory you admire and respect. Contact at least one to discuss their definition of success.

5. Schedule Reflection Time: Block time; start with 30 minutes weekly to assess your progress, adjust your approach, and reconnect with what truly matters this season.

Chasing success can feel like chasing the wind; it's always changing and elusive. If we're honest, we may be chasing someone else's definition of success. Whatever ladder you may be climbing, take pause. Reflect on these steps to offer a renewed perspective of your success criteria and strategies to attain it, then count the cost. Then, take a few steps of faith that align with your deepest values and most significant priorities.

Oh My Back!!! Lumbar Support In Your Leadership

A few weeks ago I jumped in my truck excited about something. The moment I jumped in I heard a pop in my seat. After a closer inspection, I realize the lower portion of the back had concaved. So sitting in my truck left me slouched driving down the road. These are the things you don't think about until snap, break, then slump. 

The irony is right after that happen we had a family trip scheduled to drive across Kansas from Colorado. After a few hours in my truck seat, I ended up jamming a jacket to provide some support. Also, I also noticed the steel bar had an interesting way of digging right into my vertebrae at the same spot. So after hundreds of miles in Kansas and hours over the next few weeks, I was developing a chronic ache that went straight to my attitude every time I got out of the truck.

The fact is I didn't have the support that I needed. 

A quick look at YouTube video I found instruction for the lumbar repair and ordered the replacement part. A few days I had plastic lumbar support for 30 bucks delivered to my house. Pulling the seat apart, a few minutes with the right tools, and some dirty knuckles my support was back 100%. The difference was instantaneous driving down the road and so was my attitude. 

Sometimes we get excited about working with our people. In our enthusiasm sometimes something goes snap. We don't know exactly know what happened, but we know something is broke. We might even go weeks and hundreds of miles in conversation before we respond. You know instinctively that your posture is off, you've got a pain in your back, and your attitude reflects your demeanor.

What support do you need in your leadership today? 

Maybe that support comes personally from a friend or family member. It may be advice from a mentor or coach. It may be feedback from a team member. There's somebody in your life and leadership circles who can help.

Take a few minutes watching a leadership video, 30 bucks in a lunch with a trusted confidant, getting your hands dirty for a few minutes by taking some action may be what's needed. 

When you do so, you may sense instant relief that's critical for your leadership. 

Plus you'll enjoy the ride a whole lot more...

If you're Stuck in your leadership, team, or organization... let the Advance help get you the Support you need to Succeed! Take the first step here... 

Climbing with a Mentor… Dangerous Missteps and Discovering 3 Hidden Treasures on the Journey

My feet are soiled, even blistered, after walking nearly four miles in my Chacos. My iPhone tells me I climbed ninety-six floors today over the course of two hours, which means I climbed a mountain. My companion was a man I've known for several years, but this was the first opportunity we've had to spend time together. 

At sixty-three this man has traveled the world and worked inside of an organization of forty thousand people. When he started with that company twenty-eight years ago, their team was only two hundred people. Some would call that a career, others a lifetime of work. As an organizational psychologist and a Ph.D. whose primary goal is developing leaders within an organization, he can literally look back over his lifetime and see the impact he has had. It’s the difference that can be measured by the numbers and in the change in people’s lives. It's what we may call a life well lived.

Here I was with a man that I respect and admire, who is nearly twenty years my senior, and he truly is a model of the kind of leader developer I hope to be one day. The truth is for many of us on this journey, these kind of models and mentors are very rare. We may be around them, but when given the gift of their time, in my case nearly two hours on this hike, we want to make the most of the opportunity.  So our tendency in this situation is to jump right in and pepper them questions, usually in one of the following categories: 

• We ask for advice and counsel.
• We ask about a specific problem in order to find a practical solution that can be applied immediately.
• We ask for principles or a personal mantra that can be applied to guide our life decisions.

However, this tendency can also be a grave misstep. These questions work well when you are working with a mentor or coach. They can literally take you down many new trails, beyond just one conversation, and take place over months and years of relationship. But when given a rare opportunity like the one I was given, this strategy may cause you to miss out on something even more valuable.  On the day of my hike with this man that I want to emulate, I chose not to go there with any specific agenda. I chose not to ask questions or ask for advice or counsel. Instead I simply stated, "I want to hear your story. Anything that you would like to share, I'm a listening ear, and I simply want to learn from you." 

During the two hours of mountain climbing, our talk began with some common elements of storytelling. These elements provided a little foundational context as to where we were in our week and what was going on in our lives. As we hit the trail, he asked me a few questions that allowed me to share parts of my story I knew would simply honor him in his interest and curiosity. I shared a few relevant, honest, authentic, and important details from my journey as it related to different mile-markers in my life which set the tone and depth so he would feel comfortable sharing at the same level of sincerity. In other words, the transparency of my story invited him to be transparent with his as well. He told me about his personal challenges and victories, his experiences as a family man, and how he navigated through difficult days when what he wanted to do was give up. After coming off the mountain, I felt the weight of his story.  As I reflected on this experience, I discovered the following three hidden treasures.

1. Story protects you

For nearly an hour I listened to a story that weaved over thirty to forty years of this man’s work and family life. As I listened, several themes began to emerge.  His life exceeded what you might normally characterize as success.  His life was about making an impact and how one person can make a difference by being faithful for the long haul. There was the theme of overcoming challenges, pushing through when you are overwhelmed, and it feels impossible.  And there was the theme of burnout. No matter how great the mission is, if you don't take time to rest and recalibrate, you will crash.

Throughout his story he wasn't preaching. He wasn't telling me what to do. He wasn't giving me principles, or teaching a lesson. We were simply climbing a mountain. Listening to his story awakened something in me.  I could resonate with the various themes along the way, and I began to recognize that if I wasn't careful, I was only a few nights of sleep away from real burnout.

His story caused me to think about how at times the burden and responsibility of my work can be so overwhelming that I lose perspective of why I've even stepped into such meaningful work in the first place.  His story helped me understand how the disciplined pursuit of perspective will protect me from being overwhelmed and potentially be taken out completely. His story also showed me that making a difference really comes from a focused pursuit in your area of strength and competency; that deep work is hard work; and that it’s worth it. When you see the impact you are making along the way, you will be encouraged, revitalized, and inspired to press on and continue the work in even more specific and definable ways.

2. Story inspires you

I was recently at a conference where nationally recognized speakers were giving talks that certainly stirred the heart and moved the audience with great emotion and connection.  As I listened to their stories I too felt swept up in the movement and emotion of the moment. Those talks certainly have their place, but they are quite different than the inspiration I received from walking alongside a man who's guiding me on a trail I have never traversed before, showing me new vistas, peaks, and valleys.  Even the physical ability he has in his early sixties, to be able to climb such mountains, inspires me! To be that physically fit, let alone have the mental and emotional fitness he has when I'm that age is some to aspire to. This man has a heart that is whole and alive and is filled with spiritual vitality in spite of seasons of overwhelming and challenging circumstances. His story inspires my story, and I hope my story will in turn inspire others.

3. Story encourages you

While walking alongside this man as he's listening to my story and sharing with me the things he has heard from others, he takes the time to encourage me in my work. I will tell you, there is nothing quite like having someone of this caliber, credibility, and experience look at a man like me and say, "I see something in you that, as it continues to develop and grow, will make an impact. How I can encourage you further along the way?” It is such a boost in confidence to hear him say, "I see something in you. I believe in you, and I will walk with you.” When someone we admire and trust, who's farther down the path than we are, in whose footsteps we can follow and learn from is willing to guide us along the way and encourage us to move forward in our levels of influence, they are demonstrating the next level of leadership and are modeling what it looks like to encourage others. It's the exchange of story—my story for his—and that lays a foundation for friendship and mentoring that moves us, inspires us, and encourages us in ways that are hard to even put into words.

The Danger of the Misstep - Why we miss story

The fact is, most leaders are running a hundred miles an hour, reacting and dealing with the challenges of each day. So often, when we're in the presence of someone who's farther along than we are, we are quick to ready, fire, aim, and we jump right into problem solving mode and seek the quick, pre-scripted solutions, so we can move on. Certainly, there are times when we are in crisis, when we need immediate answers, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, what actually may be needed more is the discipline of listening. Taking time for story allows space for things to be shared, things that maybe haven't been shared in many years.  And when you take the time to listen, you may find that the story resonates with your story, providing a significant point of connection. What we learn from the stories of our mentors and models is the wisdom they have gained as they have walked along their journey.  Their story may provide the treasures of protection, inspiration, and encouragement and be the very thing that gives us the heart to stay the course in the midst of difficult and challenging circumstances.

The treasures found in others’ stories will motivate us to seize new opportunities and move us forward to new levels of influence that we didn't think was possible. So I would encourage you today to think about those people in your life who are further along in the journey of life.  Get outdoors with them, in an environment other than a lunch or conference room meeting, and ask them, "What's your story?"