The Negativity Paradox: Clear in Others, Invisible in Self

The Silent Weight of Workplace Negativity: My Research Journey

My path into studying workplace negativity wasn't planned—I was thrown into the lion's den of organizational toxicity during my PhD research. What started as an academic pursuit quickly revealed a universal challenge plaguing organizations across sectors.

Through interviewing twelve high-level executives, including six CEOs managing thousands of employees, I uncovered disturbing patterns. Three executives physically collapsed from the weight of organizational negativity, with two requiring hospitalization. These weren't isolated incidents—they highlighted three critical findings:

1. Negativity's impact transcends industry boundaries, affecting everything from healthcare to construction

2. Even seasoned leaders aren't immune to its effects, as demonstrated by the physical collapse of experienced executives

3. We systematically underestimate our personal absorption of negative energy while readily identifying it in others

This paradox became the cornerstone of my research: our ability to spot negativity's impact on colleagues while remaining blind to its effect on ourselves. It's this unconscious absorption that makes workplace negativity particularly dangerous—like a silent weight that accumulates until it becomes too heavy to bear.

My findings reveal an urgent need for new approaches to recognize and address negativity before it reaches crisis levels. The physical toll on these executives serves as a stark warning about the real costs of unmanaged workplace toxicity.

Self-Care, SoulWork, and Refilling Your Empty Cup

Article Overview

• Intro to SoulWork- Soul-Care & Self-Care

• Healthcare Case Study

• 6 Perceptions of Contributing to the Neglect of Self-Care

• Stats on Workplace Well-being - $300 Billion Issue

• 5 Practices to Avoid Burnout

• SoulWork - Filling Your Cup - Focusing On Your Vitality

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Intro to SoulWork- Soul-Care & Self-Care

A mentor once shared, Russell, you can't give out of an empty cup. In a similar conversation, another mentor leader shared the idea in principle: You can't impart what you don't possess. Then, I hear the consistent reminder on every flight, the attendant instructions to put your mask on first before helping others. Why? At 35,000', you'll blackout within 7-8 seconds. 

On reflection, these principles and practices suggest that you must first possess that knowledge, skill, or attribute to share or teach something to others. It implies authenticity and personal experience are essential to effectively caring, mentoring, training, or leading well. For instance, if you want to teach someone about kindness, you must first embody kindness in your actions and interactions. Similarly, if you wish to mentor others on leadership, you should have practical experience and an understanding of leadership principles. This phrase underscores the importance of leading by example and living out the values or qualities you seek to impart to others. Similarly, if you've given your all for a job, project, or any effort only to come up short, your cup needs filling before you can begin again. 

Let's step back for a moment. 

After moving from Georgia to Colorado, I started my master's education at Denver Seminary from 2003-2007. I began my studies on leadership, then discovered a track focusing on spiritual formation. More than formal education, I was invited into a guided learning experience within a genuinely transformational community. While raising a family and running a business, I was battling many of the symptoms of the lack of self-care. The spiritual formation began to help me identify themes and patterns to understand better my beliefs, motivation, and drives for success, leaving me in a state of chronic fatigue and, at times, burnout. 

Twenty years ago, I was learning firsthand before terms like well-being and self-care were popularized in workplace policy and human resource circles. Yet, the personal work held a tension of soul-care and self-care that's holistic in practice; today, I use the term SoulWork. 

My story is familiar as it represents a need for all. The practice of SoulWork will vary based on the needs and demands of the day. SoulWork is dynamic based on worldview, values, and beliefs with your season of life and work. SoulWork holds the tension of soul-care and self-care. You find less emphasis on the soul rather than the necessity of self-care with a good night's sleep. Before we move further, I invite you to consider what you need to live and work with vitality.

Back to the present day. 

Healthcare Case Study

Working as an Organizational Development Consultant in the healthcare industry since COVID, let me invite you into my work life. You may identify some similar themes in your workplace. 

Ashely is a dedicated nurse in a busy hospital's intensive care unit (ICU). Known for her exceptional patient care and unwavering commitment to her job, she often prioritizes the needs of her patients above her well-being. Despite long shifts and demanding workloads, she rarely takes breaks and frequently stays late to ensure her patients receive the best possible care.

A work pattern established since the COVID crisis, Ashley's neglect of self-care begins to take a toll on her well-being. She experiences increasing levels of stress, fatigue, and emotional exhaustion. Despite feeling physically and mentally drained, she pushes herself to continue working at the same intense pace, fearing that taking time off would negatively impact her patients.

As a result of her neglect of self-care, Ashley's health begins to deteriorate. She experiences frequent headaches, insomnia, and mood swings. Her relationships with colleagues and loved ones suffer as she becomes irritable and withdrawn. Despite recognizing the signs of burnout, Ashely feels trapped in a cycle of overwork and self-neglect, unable to prioritize her well-being.

Eventually, Ashely reaches a breaking point when she collapses from exhaustion during a shift. Forced to take time off work to recover, she realizes the importance of self-care and seeks support from her colleagues, personal coach, and a nurse mentor. With their help, she learns to set boundaries, prioritize self-care practices, and seek help.

Through this experience, Ashley recognizes that neglecting self-care harms her well-being and jeopardizes her ability to provide quality patient care. She commits to making self-care a priority in her life, knowing that only by taking care of herself can she continue to serve others effectively in the long term.

Dr. Smith is a dedicated physician in a busy hospital's intensive care unit (ICU). Known for her exceptional medical skills and unwavering commitment to her patients, Dr. Smith often works long hours and sacrifices her well-being to ensure that her patients receive the best possible care.

Despite the demanding nature of her job, Dr. Smith rarely takes breaks or prioritizes her own needs, believing that her patients' lives are at stake and require her full attention and dedication. She neglects self-care practices such as proper nutrition, exercise, and adequate rest, pushing herself to the brink of exhaustion to meet the demands of her high-pressure role.

As time goes on, Dr. Smith begins to experience symptoms of burnout, including chronic fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of detachment from her work. Despite her best efforts to soldier on, she struggles to cope with her job's physical and emotional toll, leading to decreased job satisfaction and overall well-being.

Meanwhile, the nursing staff working alongside Dr. Smith in the ICU also grapple with their challenges. Overwhelmed by high patient acuity, staffing shortages, and a lack of support, the nurses are increasingly stressed and stretched thin. The collective stress within the nursing team manifests in disrespectful communication practices, low morale, and a toxic work culture characterized by blame and resentment. Employee turnover rates soar as nurses struggle to cope with the demands of their jobs and the hostile work environment.

Recognizing the urgent need for change, Dr. Smith and the nursing staff come together to address the root causes of their collective burnout. They advocate for better support and resources, including access to mental health services, regular team debriefs, and opportunities for self-care.

Through their collaborative efforts, Dr. Smith and the nursing team began to implement positive changes in their work environment. By prioritizing self-care and collective well-being, they can rebuild trust, improve communication, and cultivate a healthier and more supportive work culture for themselves and their patients.

Why do leaders, managers, physicians, nurses, and front-line employees neglect self-care? 

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6 Perceptions of Contributing to the Neglect of Self-Care

For Ashley, Dr. Smith, or team members in your workplace, self-care is often neglected due to the perception that prioritizing one's well-being is selfish or indulgent. This perception stems from several factors:

1. Cultural Expectations: In many workplace cultures, there is a prevailing belief that sacrificing personal needs for the greater good is noble and admirable. Leaders may feel pressure to constantly prioritize the needs of their organization, team, or stakeholders above their well-being.

2. Role Modeling: Leaders may feel compelled to set an example of selflessness for their team members, fearing that prioritizing self-care could be perceived as a weakness or lack of dedication.

3. Fear of Judgment: There is a fear of judgment from others, including peers, superiors, or subordinates, who may interpret self-care practices as a lack of commitment or dedication to their roles.

4. Misunderstanding of Self-Care: Some leaders may equate self-care with self-indulgence or laziness, failing to recognize its importance in maintaining physical, mental, and emotional health.

5. Workaholic Culture: In industries or organizations where long hours and high levels of productivity are glorified, leaders may feel compelled to constantly push themselves to meet unrealistic expectations, leading to neglect of self-care practices.

6. Perceived Lack of Time: Leaders often juggle multiple responsibilities and demanding schedules, making it challenging to prioritize self-care activities. They may perceive self-care practices as time-consuming luxuries rather than essential investments in their well-being.

Overall, the perception of self-care as selfishness is a misconception that stems from societal norms, cultural expectations, and individual beliefs about the role of leaders and the nature of work.

What's the impact of stories like Ashley and Dr. Smith if nothing changes? 

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Stats on Workplace Well-being - $300 Billion Issue

Let's look at the recent statistics regarding the lack of self-care in the workplace, highlighting its detrimental effects on employee well-being and engagement. Here are some key statistics:

1. Decreased Productivity: According to a study by the American Institute of Stress, workplace stress costs U.S. employers an estimated $300 billion annually in absenteeism, turnover, decreased productivity, and medical expenses.

2. Increased Burnout Rates: The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies burnout as an "occupational phenomenon" resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. A Gallup study found that 23% of employees reported feeling burned out often or always, while 44% reported feeling burned out sometimes.

3. Higher Turnover Rates: A survey by Kronos and Future Workplace found that 95% of H.R. leaders reported that employee burnout sabotages workforce retention. Moreover, a Gallup study revealed that 23% of employees would be willing to leave their current organization for a 10% pay raise elsewhere, emphasizing the impact of burnout on turnover rates.

These statistics underscore the significant impact of lack of self-care on workplace dynamics and employee engagement. Three primary threats to engagement resulting from insufficient self-care practices include:

1. Decreased Morale: Employees experiencing burnout and high-stress levels are more likely to feel disengaged and demotivated, reducing employee morale.

2. Reduced Productivity: Burnout can impair cognitive function, decision-making abilities, and creativity, resulting in reduced productivity and performance levels among employees.

3. Increased Absenteeism and Turnover: Employees facing burnout are more likely to take frequent sick days, experience higher rates of absenteeism, and ultimately seek opportunities elsewhere, contributing to increased turnover rates within the organization.

Addressing these threats requires a holistic approach to promoting employee well-being, including implementing self-care initiatives, fostering a supportive work culture, and providing resources for stress management and mental health support. Organizations prioritizing employee well-being are likelier to cultivate a positive work environment, boost engagement, and achieve long-term success.

What can change these trends in your workplace, church, or community? 

Let me propose starting with your self-care and well-being. In future articles, we will discuss self-leaders, which is necessary before leading others. However, self-care is critical as a baseline for self-leadership. 

Self-care is crucial for maintaining overall well-being and preventing burnout. It encompasses practices that nurture physical, emotional, and mental health, allowing individuals to recharge and thrive. 

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Five practices to demonstrate well-being and avoid burnout include:

1. Regular Exercise: Physical activity boosts mood, reduces stress, and promotes better sleep. Incorporating regular exercise into your routine, whether walking, jogging, yoga, or other forms of movement, supports overall health and vitality.

2. Healthy Eating Habits: Fueling your body with nutritious foods provides the energy and nutrients needed for optimal functioning. Prioritize a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats to support physical and mental well-being. Doing a dry month might help. 

3. Prayer, Mindfulness, and Relaxation Techniques: Prayer, mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing relaxation techniques can help alleviate stress, increase self-awareness, and promote emotional resilience. Taking breaks to unwind and center yourself throughout the day can enhance overall well-being.

4. Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries in personal and professional life is essential for maintaining balance and preventing burnout. Learn to say no to tasks or commitments that overwhelm you and prioritize activities that align with your values and goals.

5. Seeking Social Support: Cultivating meaningful connections with friends, family, or support groups provides a sense of belonging and strengthens resilience. Make time for social activities, reach out to loved ones for support, and seek professional help if needed to address mental health concerns. Depending on the intensity of your needs, professional support from a counselor, therapist, or coach may help get you moving toward holistic health and well-being. 

By prioritizing self-care practices like regular exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness, setting boundaries, and seeking social support, individuals can enhance their overall well-being, reduce stress, and prevent burnout. These practices contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life, enabling individuals to thrive personally and professionally.

What underlying beliefs inform our attitudes and actions regarding self-care and well-being? 

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SoulWork - Filling Your Cup - Focusing On Your Vitality

As I consider the diversity of clients globally, the worldviews, religious beliefs, and traditions vary with every country. In 2023, I worked with leaders from India, Argentina, Korea, London, Austria, Ireland, China, Saudia Arabia, and the U.S. Given my response to the diversity of perspectives, broadly speaking, SoulWork refers to the intentional and ongoing practice of nurturing and preserving one's inner life, including thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and values. It involves caring for the spiritual aspect of oneself, recognizing the profound significance of the soul and its connection to one's overall well-being. Soulwork often involves prayer, meditation, reflection, and engagement with spiritual teachings or traditions.

Spiritual formation encompasses the process of growth and development in one's spiritual life to become more aligned with one's deepest values, beliefs, and purpose. It involves the cultivation of virtues such as love, compassion, humility, and gratitude, as well as exploring one's relationship with the divine or transcendent. Spiritual formation may include spiritual disciplines, community involvement, study of scripture, and guidance from mentors or spiritual leaders.

"Spiritual care" refers to providing support, guidance, and assistance to individuals in nurturing their spiritual well-being and addressing their spiritual needs. It involves attending to the spiritual dimensions of human experience, including questions of meaning, purpose, identity, and transcendence. Spiritual care may be offered by religious leaders, counselors, healthcare professionals, or other trained individuals, and it can take various forms depending on the individual's context and needs.

SoulWork fills my empty cup. It's a grandeur of adventuring in the Colorado mountains, walking the beach shore with my wife, celebrating with my family, conversing with a trusted friend, taking a truck ride for ice cream on summer's eve, and sitting in my rocking chair with my bible and journal, watching the sunrise coffee in hand.

What can you do today to be intentional about tending to your vitality? 

SoulWork is holistic, touching on what matters most, holding the tension of soul-care and self-care.  Start today with the next step towards taking in some oxygen, refilling your cup, and reflecting on what will help you thrive instead of only surviving.

We're in a series of essentials for leadership, building your foundation so you can thrive in your life, work, and leadership. Next, we'll expand on the practices of self-leadership. 

If you'd like to explore further conversations on these topics for your leadership, building your teamwork, or changing your organizational culture, feel free to reach out to russell@leadersadvance.net 

Workplace Psychology - Why a PhD in IO

A historical review of I/O affirms my interest in learning and applying its practice to expand the opportunities for good work. Work, especially good work, stimulates my curiosity about what, how, and why people do what they do and how organizations holistically support these efforts to collectively toward their mission. 

organizational issues create more opportunities for workplace psychologists to have an impact.

The study of work and the conditions that allow employees to be productive is the foundation for I/O psychology. Early studies such as the Hawthorne effect experimented with lighting and workplace conditions until later learned how attitude is the key to productivity. What's fascinating about this historical study from Western Electric is the root causes are still evident today. We're trying to learn how to deal with attitude present day. 

Since the pandemic, attitude in the workplace has been influenced by stress at home and at work. Conversations about burnout are commonplace. These conversations highlight the issues of employees will well-being. I've studied the problems of stress in the workplace for more than half a century. Terms that define these issues range from occupational stress, work stress, job-related stress, and organizational stress. The citations for workplace stress have appeared in over 22,000 psychology journals and articles in the last two decades. The conclusion of such an extensive literature review is workplace stress needs to be more conclusive. Workplace and occupational stress issues need better or clearer definitions for future studies. These studies would include holistic research on employee well-being. Secondly, the literature review concludes the need for better communication bridges and knowledge sharing (Cassar et al., 2020). Mental and emotional factors are different today compared to past studies measuring the physical effects of workforce stress. These factors affect employee engagement, performance, and productivity. What are organizations doing to support the well-being of other employees? 

One hundred years ago, workplace psychologists were primarily studying IQ. Today we measure EQ and social intelligence as essentials for effective leadership and management. The IO industry progresses based on the change in times within the workforce. Progressive companies are committed to building human capital or proactively training their employees in competencies and relational skills to work in a collaborative environment. From the construction site to the start-up to healthcare and institutions, people and organizational development

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The mandate for IO psychologists is to be relevant, practical, and timely in their research and reporting. The theories and studies of the past inform the future. Yet, IO's future is dependent on innovation. Innovation requires testing new theories and supporting them with evidence-based research. Its theories must align with real-world practices—institutional or academic approaches to get lost in the daily grind of organizational demands.

My role as an organizational development consultant in healthcare reminds me daily that people's lives are on the line. The welfare of nurses, providers, managers, and leaders influences the health of our patients. Healthcare is in a staffing crisis from demands throughout the pandemic. This crisis has led to an excessive turnover, limited recruitment, and decreased patient experience quality. Healthcare is not alone in its staffing challenges. 

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The consult guides culture-based conversations focusing on leadership gaps, trends, and issues in the workplace. Consultations begin with defining the issues and root causes, and Consults give stakeholders time and space to re-envision the desired outcome. Consulting process helps identify goals, priorities, and problems to be solved. On one level, it's aspirational to identify values. However, at the ground level, values must align with measurable behaviors that will strengthen the organization. 

Reference 

Cassar, V., Bezzina, F., Fabri, S., & Buttigieg, S. C. (2020). Work stress in the 21st century: A bibliometric scan of the first 2 decades of research in this millennium. The Psychologist-Manager Journal, 23(2), 47–75. https://doi.org/10.1037/mgr0000103