For some of you carrying a conversation is like breathing. It’s easy! For the rest of us, it takes work!

Let's bring this into perspective with real-life examples. In the past week, I've had conversations with three professionals: the President of a software organization, the director of product development, and an emerging leader in mechanical engineering. All three echoed a similar sentiment: 'It's easier to focus on the tasks than talk about how people are feeling.'

My book, The Conversationalist, was written as a guide to help you have deeper conversations, yet you've got to start by creating small, meaningful connections.

As a leader, mastering the art of chit-chat and small talk is not just a skill but a powerful tool for building trust, fostering engagement, and creating a positive work environment. These seemingly trivial conversations hold the key to making your team members feel valued, validated, and encouraged, which in turn can lead to significant improvements in their performance and overall satisfaction, directly impacting the success of your team and organization.

Small talk is more than idle chatter; it's a way to show genuine interest in your team members' lives. By asking about their weekend plans, family events, or hobbies, you demonstrate that they matter as individuals, not just employees. This simple act can go a long way in making them feel appreciated and respected.

Small talk is not just about showing interest in your team members' personal lives; it's a sincere tool for understanding their day-to-day concerns and challenges. By actively listening to their stories and experiences, you gain valuable insights into their perspectives, which can help you address any roadblocks or frustrations they may be encountering. This demonstrates your care for their well-being and success and also enables you to improve processes and remove obstacles, leading to a more productive and harmonious team. In essence, small talk is a key driver of team dynamics, and as a leader, you play a crucial role in fostering these dynamics.

Consistent positive feedback is another crucial aspect of compelling small talk. By celebrating small wins, acknowledging hard work, and offering encouragement, you create a supportive environment where your team members feel motivated and valued. This positive reinforcement can boost morale, increase productivity, and foster a sense of camaraderie within the team. Consider how often you recognize the work of your people in a meaningful way.

So, how can you improve your chit-chat and small talk? It starts with being present and attentive during conversations. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and actively listen to what your team members are saying. Ask follow-up questions to show your interest and encourage them to open up. Capture a few notes afterward to help you remember small details about their lives and follow up on them during future conversations. These simple steps can make a significant difference in your small talk skills and, consequently, in your leadership effectiveness.

Practical Next Step:

Set a reminder to have either formal or informal 10-15 minute one-on-one catch-up sessions with each team member every two weeks.
Use these sessions to engage in small talk, ask about their interests and concerns, and provide positive feedback.
After three months and 5-6 intentional conversations, see what you've learned and the impact of the check-ins. Your simple practice will go a long way in fostering a more connected and engaged team.

Your interest, sincerity, and consistency can transform a culture faster than you think possible. By mastering this skill, you can create a culture of trust, validation, and encouragement within your team, ultimately leading to a more cohesive and successful workplace.